Lights out, words gone

She thought, I will quietly put up with this. You won’t understand, I may have deceived you.

For months now, it had been more of the same. The bell rings, school begins, they’d go out and they’d sneak back in. Elementary. Like kids, just laughing, holding hands and trying all those forbidden things. What if we – where would you take me? The idea of it was so thrilling, there’d be color in her eyes again. Something new, finally. You made her feel alive.

But lately, hadn’t you noticed, when you hold her, she slips through. You scurry, you beg, with your eyes and with your mouth. You fight with her, but for her, though something had already been thinning, barely holding together. The scent of trailing smoke and the weight of very soft rain. Somehow, it was already over. There, still together, but bound to break soon, if not shatter. Just a moment away, you wait, become so heavy, so desperately attached. And shackle.

Take me away, she told me. And in the name of love or just something new, her head lies on my lap, searching to withdraw. Whether from guilt or for lust, you’ll ask if it had been empty. You watch from afar as I take her away. I look at you and say I’m sorry.

But you had your moment, I don’t feel guilty at all.

5

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